Solo traveling tips for women

S1: Hey there , San Diego. It's Andrew Bracken in for Jade Hyneman. Today we bring you a conversation on the transformative power of traveling alone. This is KPBS Midday Edition. Connecting our communities through conversation. Have you ever embarked on a solo adventure ? Traveling alone , really , regardless of the ultimate destination , can be challenging at times lonely , but also transformative. My next guest just released a book all about this. Her name is Paula Farb and she's based in Encinitas. Her book is called The Smart Woman's Guide to Successful Solo Travel. Paula , welcome to Midday edition.

S2: Hi , Andrea.

S1: So just to start off , can you talk a little bit about what you feel are some of the benefits you get from traveling ? Absolutely.

S2: I think one of the biggest benefits people get is a world view perspective , which helps them sort of see themselves how they fit in the world. You know , we're so bubbled in our own little world from wherever we grew up or came from or wherever we're living. And you only therefore are exposed to a certain amount of of maybe cultures or rituals or different types of food , cuisine , whatever it might be. But when you travel , you get outside of that little bubble and you're able to experience amazing experiences , whether it be a cultural experience , see how people live in different countries , listening to them interact , watching them raise their children , whatever it might be a different cuisines , of course , and you come to realize that the world is huge.

S1: Absolutely.

S2: Absolutely. Yes , yes.

S1:

S2: That might not be everybody's preference. It's always nice to travel with people you like and people that , um , you know , are your friends whatnot , but traveling alone is a completely different mindset. Um , it's not that you're alone all the time. Solo in this regard doesn't mean loneliness and isolation. It just means you have a mindset of being a bit on your own doesn't mean you're not going to go to a restaurant and maybe dine with other people , strangers , may they be. Or join a tour for a day , to tour around a city or stay in like a hostel , for example , where you have a communal atmosphere. So you definitely can make a lot of friends when you travel solo. But I think what's an advantage to it or why I like it so much , besides not having to compromise on somebody else's schedule and how much money they want to pay for something , and the activities they want to see might not match up with what I want to do , or the activities I want to do is that you're your own driver. You can decide what you want to do each and every day.

S1: So I mean , you mentioned there this distinction between being alone versus being lonely. And that's kind of important here. But I can also see , you know , as myself when I've traveled alone , you know , there are those moments of loneliness. Do you have any tips for people to kind of break out of that ? I think you mentioned , you know , staying in a hostel throws you in sort of this communal environment.

S2: Luckily , today in today's world , we have such great connectivity. So , um , a great tip is just to continuously stay in touch with your family or friends at home. You can do that with WhatsApp or different applications. Um , you know , you can now even video and watch from home or talk to your friends and relatives at home. So I think that's really important. If you feel that you're lonely or feeling isolated from home , which a lot of travelers do , especially if you travel far away from home , you do kind of feel far away and isolated. Definitely. Um , take advantage of technology to stay in touch with your friends and family back home. There's a lot of other wonderful ways you can decrease your loneliness. Hostels is definitely one of them. Bon appetit has a app that allows you to join other solo diners in restaurants all over the world. So that's kind of neat. You just go to their site and you sign up for a particular dinner or luncheon. Another fun thing to do is take a class , take a cooking class or something that you might be interested in , um , on your travels , and you'll meet other travelers as well. That's typically something that a lot of travelers like to do.

S1: So for your book , you chose to focus on solo travel for women specifically.

S2: I did do some , um , lecturing to women on teaching them how to travel solo Although about two decades ago , and I was really happy and excited that I got a lot of really great interest. A lot of women are interested in traveling solo. I think that there's a great advantage for women , um , when they can do something on their own , take it upon themselves to , you know , go through all the hard steps and the hard work , the planning and the the decision making , and then , of course , you're going to have obstacles to overcome and things like that. So for women , I think that they gain a great sense of self-empowerment , courage , confidence and a boldness that may not happen. Um , in other aspects of women doing things alone , traveling seems to put it right in the forefront. You you do have to sometimes make decisions on the fly. You get a lot of obstacles. Your train might not run that day. You're playing as late. I've had so many times when I've had to , uh , change my plans on the fly. And so you build a lot of resilience. Once you gain these skills and these aptitudes , it really enriches women's lives further on later in life , whether it's in their career or their family lives or how they relate to other people.

S1:

S2: An aspect of women traveling alone , number one is probably safety. Uh , women have are probably more vulnerable because they are women , and especially if you're not so confident to be out on your own. And you can show that fairness , that can , um , make you a bit of a target. So safety is a huge part of , of , um , traveling alone as a woman. There are so many wonderful ways to prepare to be safe , you can kind of build your own little safety toolkit prior to leaving. You do want to do some practicing , um , using some of these tools. For example , go away for a short weekend in somewhere not too far from your home by yourself , and do things like ride a bus. Don't just take Uber , but get involved in in the atmosphere , use public transportation , things like that.

S1: No , I think , you know , a pretty common thing about traveling is , you know , getting lost and you're kind of you kind of have to figure things out kind of on the fly.

S2: Yeah.

S1: So another challenge about traveling can be budget , you know , traveling without spending a lot of money or having that much money to spend. A lot of us just can't afford to do everything we might want to.

S2: I've never traveled in luxury or even a first class. Some of the keys are just make sure you understand what your budget is while you're planning your trip , because that will help guide you into what type of accommodations you can afford and what kind of activities you might want to pursue while you're traveling. You need to do a lot of research and planning. It's important , especially if you're going to stick to a budget. You always want to have your budget in mind , so you can lay it out on a graph or a timeline , decide where you want to go , and then start looking for those things that you're going to be spending money on and choose wisely those things that will be affordable to you. So just constantly come up with your budget and try to stick to it. It's fine if you are not completely stuck to your budget , but you'll find plenty of options for sure to be able to stick to a budget. It's just going to take a little bit more planning and research.

S1: Earlier we were talking about safety. Talk to me a bit more about this safety toolkit. You mentioned what you know. What are the elements there.

S2: First off the bat , it helps if you can take a self-defense course , even just for a day , even an online course , and just learn a couple of good moves , physical moves that if you needed to get yourself out of a situation that is physical , you can have a couple of things to fall back on. It's just good , good to do. It's not always necessary. It might depend on where you're traveling to , but it's something just good for women to have in 1 or 2 ways of knowing how to get out of a physical encounter situation. Um , no means no in every country. And if you can , uh , practice raising your voice or even screaming. Sometimes go out in your backyard and scream , no ! Do it because the louder you scream no , the better you're going to get a response. And usually the response is , if someone's bothering you , they're going to they're going to leave , or you're going to call attention to yourself and other people will step in and help you. That's another good thing. Um , let's say you're walking down the street. If you appear like your loss , say you're in a big city or you're holding a map in front of you , you're kind of telling people that you're a visitor and you're not a local , obviously. So it's good to know where you're going before you leave your accommodation and have it either just written down or in your phone , um , the directions , or use a phone map app rather than holding a paper map. And another good tip is to carry a local newspaper under your arm. You want to look like you're not a tourist , so that's something to remember as a as a safety tip , you want to try to blend in.

S1: To your environment and kind of fit in. Yeah. So going back to , you know , potential barriers of taking a trip , of traveling , one of them's time. I mean , we're all busy , you know , like I have kids , everything. You know , we have work , we have kids. Maybe it can really be a challenge just to kind of make travel happen.

S2: Now that I'm a little bit older , my trips are fewer for many reasons. But if you like to travel or if you think you're going to love to travel , you just need to carve out the time. It's not easy , but it's something that you have to sort of , I think , be proactive in doing because it's so easy to just let time go by and you say , oh , I wish I had done this , or I had done that , or I went there and I missed out on this trip here and just , um , try to do it as often or as much as you can , and you've got to just plan and carve out that time for yourself.

S1: And say you make plans for a trip. Travel itself can feel overwhelming. It can be stressful to kind of plan it out.

S2: Um , one thing that's kind of helpful , I think , for a lot of people is go ahead and join some travel groups , online travel groups , or Facebook groups , for example. I still belong to a lot of solo travel women Facebook groups. And just you don't even have to necessarily comment , but read what people are experiencing. I think that helps you get used to the process and understand that this is very doable. It just may take a little bit of effort , but there's so many other women who are accomplishing this and it gives you a boost. It really does. And when you approach planning and how overwhelming this can be , take it slow , especially your first time around. Just do what's comfortable for you. Ask for advice from other people. That's helpful. Like I said , from these groups or other travelers , and take your time planning and researching. Try to allow it to be an exciting venture for yourself so that you're you're planning something that you're going to have for yourself , and it's going to be exciting. I think as you get through the planning process further down the road , then you're overwhelmed. This does start to turn into excitement once you get closer to departure day.

S1: And finally , Paula , what is traveling by yourself , you know , taught you about the world , but also about yourself.

S2: Yeah , traveling by myself has taught me that I am more resilient than I thought I was , that I can get along with myself , that I don't have to have somebody with me all the time to , uh , engage with that. I am able to overcome loneliness. For me , it's just super fulfilling. Um , I think it's something I was born to do , in a sense. I've learned so much about my abilities and my my skills. And also I've learned adaptability , too. So I've been able to adapt to different cultures and and have empathy for people in the world. And I think travel does that. It expands your , um , view of the world by becoming to understand that we're all humans and we all , you know , share the same planet. And we all have a lot of the same feelings and the same problems in life. And you gain a perspective of empathy , care and , um , thankfulness.

S1: Well , congratulations on the book. I've been speaking with Paula Silver Farb. She's an author based in Encinitas. Her new book is called The Smart Woman's Guide to Successful Solo Travel , and it's out now. Paula , thanks for being here.

S2: Thanks so much. It was great.

S1: That's our show for today. I'm Andrew Bracken , KPBS. Midday edition airs on KPBS FM weekdays at noon , again at 8 p.m.. You can find past episodes at KPBS. Org or wherever you listen. Thanks again for listening. Have a great day.