The holiday season is a time for celebration, but for the 160,000 people in San Diego and Imperial Counties caring for loved ones with dementia, it can also bring stress and difficulty.
Judith and Ray Klein live in Ramona. They have been married for 53 years. They used to travel to New Jersey every holiday to visit family. But a few years ago, that tradition ended.
“He got lost in the airport four or five times ... He was gone for a long time. I was pretty frantic,” Judith said.
Ray was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in 2022. Since then, travel has become too risky.
“I didn't want a repeat of that thing. So given my reluctance and his reluctance, we just decided not to do it anymore,” she said.
The Kleins’ experience reflects a national trend. About half of U.S. caregivers avoid travel due to health concerns for the person they care for, according to AARP. Instead, they find new ways to stay connected.
According to the Alzheimer’s Association, the reality of caregiving can mean scaling back on big plans and finding new ways to celebrate the season. If in-person visits aren’t practical, they suggest virtual holiday celebrations.
Judith recalled last Christmas when their family saw each other through FaceTime.
"It was joyous. It was so much fun. It was almost like being there," she said.
Another tip is to focus on things that bring happiness.
For Ray, it’s their Christmas tree. He turns it on every morning and it’s become a symbol of comfort in their home. Last year they took it down in April.
“When two or three days had passed that he hadn’t turned it on as I was like, ‘tree's gone,’” she said with a laugh.
This year, they took the tree topper down because the blinking lights felt overwhelming to Ray.
Evening confusion and agitation experienced by some people who have dementia can also be a challenge for caregivers, so the Alzheimer’s Association recommends a holiday lunch instead of a late dinner.
Judith said she has learned to keep things simple and focus on traditions that are comforting for both of them.
“But I need to balance, asking for help. You know, if my house isn’t totally fluffed for Christmas … that’s ok, it’s enough,” she said.
The Alzheimer’s Association suggests involving the person with Alzheimer’s in manageable activities. They said simple, familiar traditions can provide a sense of normalcy and comfort. For many caregivers, activities like decorating the home, cooking together, or listening to holiday music become key parts of the season.
Judith said she’s learned an important lesson: Holidays don’t have to be perfect, they just have to be meaningful.
