I often tell my daughter, “You can do hard things!” She’s cautious about new and challenging experiences, like making friends and learning how to swim. As a young child, she is still learning what she can handle. I want my daughter to know I’m here to help when things feel tough. I also want her to have the skills and confidence to manage challenges.
As our kids grow, they face increasingly stressful situations, like starting new sports, emergency drills, difficult tests, and taking on new responsibilities. These kinds of situations can make children feel anxious. For example, in the “I am James Braidwood” episode of “Xavier Riddle and the Secret Museum,” Brad feels nervous when he is assigned to take care of the class guinea pig during a fire drill.
Brad and his friends look to firefighter James Braidwood for help. This hero shows them how being prepared can help them stay calm and feel capable during stressful situations. James Braidwood tells Brad, “Being prepared helps me stay calm, then I can focus on doing my best.”
If your child feels nervous about something, they may show it by seeming overly focused or wanting to avoid talking about it at all. They may also show other signs of worry. It is normal to feel anxious in certain situations, and we can support our child in managing those feelings. You can help by tuning into your child’s feelings and helping them prepare for the situation.
Here are some tips to help your child prepare for stressful situations:
- Talk about concerns. Find a quiet time to give your child your full attention. Ask them how they feel about the situation. Help them name and express their feelings. It's okay to feel nervous or afraid, and just talking with a caring adult can soothe anxiety. Reassure your child that you’re there to help and keep them safe.
- Make a plan. Work together to make a plan for them to follow when they’re feeling stressed or anxious in a certain situation. Just like the firefighters in “Xavier Riddle,” discuss each step. You can create a checklist of tasks to complete or draw pictures to illustrate the plan's steps. Keep the plan simple and straightforward, so your child feels like they can follow through.
- Set expectations. Be clear about what your child is responsible for doing. Just like James Braidwood’s firefighters, your child needs to understand their role to be successful. "When the fire alarm goes off, your job is to get outside, and my job is to get the younger kids and meet you there." Clear expectations reduce fear, anxiety and decrease the chance for mistakes.
- Practice, practice, practice. Create time and space to help your child practice the stressful situation. Role-playing is a way to ease worries and build skills. Help your child feel more at ease by acting out the steps together multiple times.
Use storytelling. Share stories to help your child understand the upcoming stressful situation. Tell the story of what will happen from their point of view. Use simple language to explain and help them visualize what will happen.
“On my first day riding the bus, I will wake up, get dressed, and have breakfast. Then Dad will walk with me to the bus stop. I will not be alone! When the bus comes, I will hug my Dad. Then I will get on the bus and find a seat.”
You can also tell a story from your childhood. Talk about a time when you felt nervous or stressed. Highlight how being prepared helped you.
- Look for helpers: Connection is important during stressful situations. Help your child name people who can support them. Talk about ways those people might help. In “Xavier Riddle”, Brad’s friends help him collect everything he needs for the fire drill. Your child might role-play with a parent, get guidance from a teacher, or be cheered on by friends. Knowing they’re not alone boosts your child’s confidence.
Brad realizes that if the firefighters can stay calm and do their job during a fire, he can stay calm and do his job, too. He just needs to be prepared! Being prepared doesn’t take away all of Brad’s nervous feelings, but it does help him know he can succeed.
Anyone can feel a little nervous during stressful situations. Learning skills that help your child stay calm and feel prepared will be helpful as they encounter more situations. As grown-ups, we can guide our kids through anxious feelings and help them prepare to meet challenges. With preparation, your child can remain calm under pressure so they can focus on doing their best.
Copyright 2024 PBS Kids for Parents. Click here to see the original story.
