As part of our From San Diego, with Love series, we're honored to share heartfelt stories from our community. Every love story has more to tell — this is one of them.
Before cellphones became our social lifelines and dating was as simple as swiping right, asking someone out took a little more creativity and courage. For Martin Lowe’s wife, Laura, that meant leaving a handwritten note under his windshield wiper, a bold move that would change both of their lives.
How they met
In December 2002, Martin was fresh out of college, working as a file clerk at an auto finance company in San Diego and keeping to himself.
“I was introverted. I was antisocial. I couldn't see about a foot past my nose,” he said.
But someone had noticed him.
Laura first saw him on Halloween, dressed in what she thought was a wizard costume. She tried to catch his attention in the hallways, but Martin remained oblivious. Eventually, her coworkers dared — then double-dared — her to leave a note on his car. She and a friend staked out the parking lot, found his car, and the next day, she slid the note under his windshield wiper.
"This has gotta be a joke, right?”Martin Lowe
Martin almost lost it while driving, thinking it was a parking ticket. Instead, it was a simple message: “Hey, I saw you in the office. Here’s my number. Give me a call.”
He was skeptical.
“This has gotta be a joke, right?” he asked his friends. But they insisted, “Are you nuts? No! Call the number.”
So he did.
Their first date was at a used bookstore in downtown San Diego, a place filled with the “musty smell of a good used bookstore with stacks of books to the ceiling.” He was tongue-tied, yet Laura still called him back.
Months later, he knew she was the one when she endured a 104-degree road trip with no air conditioning. And when he finally proposed the following February, it wasn’t on a scenic pier as planned, but in the parking lot of their favorite Italian restaurant because, as she put it, “It’s cold. I’m wearing open-toed shoes. I’m not walking anywhere.”
So he proposed to her right then and there. The two married.
On how love reshaped his life
"My wife and I have regular conversations about how, at this point, there is no separating us. We are one entity, one being. We share all of our responsibilities, all of our tasks — we figure out what each of us is best at, let that person shine in that role, and support each other through all of that, right?
"There’s no situation where it’s just my thing and that’s all there is to it. We share everything in one way or another — whether it’s income, finances, family, hobbies — whatever it is, we’re in it together. It’s nearly impossible to imagine a world where we’re separate.
"My wife jokes that if she ever disappeared, I’d collapse immediately because I have no idea what the password to our mortgage account is. She takes care of that. I'm happy for her to take care of that, and I take care of other things. It works. You just create this synergy that both helps and supports each other, but also also lightens the load and lightens the burden. And it’s an amazing feeling to have someone in your life that you can trust implicitly, to help you and to support you.
"She grabbed me and pulled me in for a kiss — it was the first time we kissed — and it was just … stars."Martin Lowe
"And it grows. One of the phrases my wife and I say to each other — so much so that she convinced me to get my first tattoo of it — is “love begets love.” That's a really important thought to both of us because our love is not just this isolated thing between two people. It exists beyond us. It helps us as well as other people around us grow.
"It led to our son, the love of our life. It built this close-knit circle of friends who have been together in San Diego for 20 years now.
"This romance that established and budded between us has grown and blossomed, and grown into something that’s way beyond the two of us — it’s created a family, a community. It wouldn't matter if I moved a thousand miles away, San Diego will always be at the heart of it. All those memories, all those connections and touchpoints are going to tie us back to this place forever."
On the moment he knew this was more than just a fling
"The point when I knew it was going to be a serious relationship — not necessarily a forever relationship, but definitely serious — would've been the following Super Bowl. She came over to hang out with me and my friends for the Super Bowl, and this would've been 2003. We just had a good time hanging out with friends and spent the whole time just laughing, having fun and sitting next to each other the whole time.
"When she left, I walked her out to the sidewalk in Crown Point, in (Pacific Beach). She grabbed me and pulled me in for a kiss — it was the first time we kissed — and it was just … stars. It was amazing. That was when I thought, ‘OK, this is cool. This is amazing. This is something unique.’"
On what makes their love story unique
"On the surface, it’s hard to see a lot of similarities between us. I was a college graduate from a family that really valued education and intellectualism. My idea of small talk is debating philosophy, the nuances of ancient Greek politics — or, you know, Star Wars and Dungeons & Dragons.
"My wife, on the other hand, was an Orange County kid who grew up watching Sublime play out of garages in Long Beach. On the surface, there wasn’t a whole lot in common, but we found that commonality over time. It was a discovery, an exploration as the two of us grabbed each other’s hands and found out what was important to us — what connected us.
"To me, that’s proof that the individual aspects of a person don’t have to perfectly sync up for you to form a deep bond. You go into it knowing that you’re going to create those connection points together over time."
On how San Diego became part of their love story
"My wife moved down there in the early 2000s after a bad breakup — she wanted a fresh start and moved in with a friend. I had come down to San Diego for college, I went to UCSD and that was the first time I'd ever lived in the city and established a group of friends. I fell in love with the location, and thought, 'This is where I want to be for a while.'
"It was just pure dumb luck that we both ended up working at the same place at the same time. But it was her bravery that made everything possible — that gave us the chance to connect, to explore the city together, and to build something real between us, right here in San Diego.
"I remember not too long after we met, she won tickets to see Green Day on their American Idiot tour. We went down to the amphitheater in Chula Vista, and it was moments like that — these sparkling points in my memory — where we really established an amazing connection.
"That amphitheater alone is the setting for at least half a dozen of those moments, if not more. So many concerts, so many good times. The beaches, the cliffs — all these places became part of our story."
On the song that would be playing in the background of his love story
"The song we played for our first dance at our wedding was “Waste” by Phish.
"It’s really beautiful. The main line of the chorus is, 'Come waste your time with me'. And honestly, that’s what I’ve been doing for the last 20 years — wasting my time with my wife. And I wouldn’t trade a single second of it."
