As part of our From San Diego, with Love series, we're honored to share heartfelt stories from our community. Every love story has more to tell — this is one of them.
At the dawn of the digital age, email reigned supreme, bridging distances and connecting people in ways never before imagined. Whether you used Yahoo, Google, Hotmail or AOL, with just a few keystrokes, messages could travel across the world in an instant — no postage, no waiting, just immediate connection. “You Got Mail” was not just the title of a Meg Ryan movie.
For Dave Ernst, that connection became something more. A simple email exchange sparked a relationship that would change his and his now-husband’s life, proving that even in the vast expanse of the internet, love can find its way.
How they met
Dave began exchanging emails with Adam in early 2009. At first, it was a mix of curiosity and interest. “I started getting intrigued,” Dave said. “Because we talked about our lives, our families and just nice general information.” Their connection grew through thoughtful conversations, and soon, they decided to meet in person.
What was meant to be a simple introduction turned into an all-night conversation, filled with stories and shared experiences. But just as their connection deepened, reality set in — Adam was deploying overseas the next day for 10 months. "So, it was like, ‘Well, nice meeting you,’" Dave recalled thinking. "’Maybe we’ll see each other when you get back.’"
But fate had other plans. That afternoon, as Adam prepared to board his flight, he called Dave. From there, their relationship unfolded across time zones, built through traveling, emails and phone calls, proving that love has a way of finding its path — even from a world away.
Then, a call came that changed everything: Adam was assigned shore duty in San Diego at Naval Base Point Loma. That’s when their relationship truly took off, finally giving them the chance to be together in the same city. The rest was history.
On how he knew this love was something special — something worth it
"It was when he got shore duty in San Diego. He called me, and he was really excited — almost in tears — because he had done so many deployments. When I met him, that was his 10th deployment. A lot of them, he volunteered for so others with families and kids could stay home.
"I think we've reached a point where we're extremely comfortable in our own skins and in our own lives — having different friends, different activities — but realizing that we're each other's most important person."Dave Ernst
"For him to be that excited about staying home, I thought, “This is pretty good.” And ironically, around the same time, his mom was separating from his youngest brother’s father, and they were going through mediation. She called and said, 'There’s a possibility you guys may be given guardianship of Zeke (Adam’s youngest brother).' That kind of put a spin on everything."
On the 'magical' role San Diego played in his story
"I'm from here. I was born here. I moved away a couple of times, but I came back to take care of my parents.
"Adam left the little town — he's from northwest of Santa Barbara — when he was 19 to try and make something of himself. He joined the Navy, came to San Diego at 19, and has been here ever since, except for deployments and a three-and-a-half-year stint back in Norfolk.
"So, San Diego feels like home to both of us."
On the small but meaningful detail about their love that most people may not notice
"I think we've reached a point where we're extremely comfortable in our own skins and in our own lives — having different friends, different activities — but realizing that we're each other's most important person.
"Which, I'm sure, is hopefully standard in a lot of relationships or marriages, but it took a long time to get here. I don't want to say grief, but a lot of struggle.
"And to be in this spot now is really wonderful."
On the song that would be playing in the background of his love story
"All of Me” by John Legend.
